You Might Be a Child of The 80's If...

Author Unknown

  1. you have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before
  2. the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis
  3. you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song
  4. not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention
  5. you remember the days when cocaine was just fine in powder form, thank you very much
  6. you think the "the Gay 90's" refers to this decade, and people's sexual orientation
  7. the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories
  8. you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired - it was called "Battlestar Galactica"
  9. songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day
  10. Three words: "Atari" Coleco" "IntelliVision"
  11. you remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was the ONLY WAY to use your computer!
  12. you remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend"
  13. you remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV
  14. you ever owned a pair of "Pop-Wheels" - that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market
  15. a predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid"
  16. you're pissed that you couldn't really participate in the 60's, pissed that you were a part of the 70's, think you wasted too much time doing stupid, meaningless things in the 80's, and still have no clue what the 90's are all about
  17. you see teenagers today wearing clothes that show up in those childhood photos, and they still look bad
  18. while in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again
  19. you remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was
  20. you were shocked and horrified at the Challenger explosion (which you were probably watching in school at the time)
  21. you, yes you, sat down and memorized the entire lyric sheet to "It's the end of the world as we know it"
  22. you can't remember when the word "networking" didn't have a computer connotation to it as well
  23. you took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
  24. you knew all the words to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", but it really didn't hold any meaning for you until about the third verse
  25. you've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut"
  26. you watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time
  27. you've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phases: "When I was younger", "When I was your age", "You know, back when...", "Because I SAID so, that's why", "What the HELL is this noise on the radio?", "Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"
  28. you can't remember a time when "going out for coffee" DIDN'T involve 49,000 selections to choose from
  29. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language
  30. Kids that work in restaurants and supermarkets are starting to piss you off by calling you "sir" or "ma'am"
  31. you're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing, and you're ready to marry the next person who cards you when you want to buy cigarettes.
  32. the first time you heard the candidates names, you were pumped because you thought MICHAEL Jackson was running for President, not this Jesse character.
  33. you ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper video
  34. at one point during your teenage years, you walked with a noticeable tilt to one side due to the number of plastic rings on that arm
  35. "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang was one of the hot new songs when you first heard it at a school dance
  36. the first time you ever kissed someone at a dance was during "Crazy for You" by Madonna
  37. there were at least three people in your school that voluntarily went by the names of "Skip" "Buffy" "Muffy" or "Dexter"
  38. you ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping irons
  39. you used to think that all those gold chains on Mr. T actually looked kinda cool and the thought that Mr. T made millions seemed rational to you at the time
  40. you remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old big wheel obsolete
  41. the phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter
  42. you read the "Hot Video Games Player's Secrets" guide for Mortal Kombat just so you could find the hidden screen, and play Pong again for old time's sake
  43. you remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever achieve better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
  44. you ever had nightmares about the giant red evil robot Maximilian from the Disney movie "The Black Hole" and those blender attachments he had for hands
  45. you were convinced for years that Batman was a mildly overweight man with a moderate beer belly who wore his underwear outside of his clothes and talked strangely
  46. (guys) your first wet dream occurred to thoughts of Jeannie, Marsha Brady, Samantha from Bewitched or, for those hard core comic fans out there, Daphne from Scooby Doo, Josie or any one of her Pussycats
  47. (girls) you thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat and Chachi, or, to keep it fair to the comically interested, thought Fred was just a hunk on Scooby Doo
  48. you're starting to dread your 30th birthday, and have even begun going into denial about its possibility
  49. you've ever said "I'm a vegetarian" and immediately had someone call you a hypocrite by saying "Nice leather jacket you have there...and gee, is that a suede bag...those shoes leather, too?"
  50. you're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to look out for
  51. you freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26 - 50" age category on most questionnaires
  52. you have begun to lust after women (or men) that it would be socially inappropriate for you to date due to their age
  53. your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting"
  54. this time line appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the theaters...you are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt. You fantasize forever and ever about it, and send off to join every fan club for them on the planet, hanging posters, photos, and "teen"-type magazine spreads all over your walls and lockers at school.
  55. you remember when the phrase "candy is dandy, but sex won't rot your teeth" started getting followed by "yeah, but M&M's won't give you AIDS..."
  56. you've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay?
  57. you're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all
  58. you're doing absolutely nothing with anything pertaining to your major degree
  59. you won't walk into the place where you once knew every bartender on a first name basis because "there's too many kids there"
  60. going to keg parties no longer involves hiding out in the woods when the cops show up
  61. you want to go out dancing, you really, REALLY do, but your back hurts, sorry
  62. you're starting to think that Corvettes really look good, and aren't REALLY for guys going through a mid-life crisis and worried about their penis. That's not YOU.
  63. you're starting to get that "why aren't you married yet" shpiel, not just from parents, but now from friends that are married
  64. you've recently horrified yourself by groaning as you got out of bed, not because of a hangover, but because it genuinely just hurt to do so
  65. you're finding that you just don't understand more than half the lingo used on MTV any more
  66. (mostly guys on this one) sex is still as much fun as it used to be, and you're still really interested in it, but you just want to make sure there's nothing really good on cable that you'd be missing first
  67. you ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
  68. U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now
  69. you ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation
  70. When someone mentions two consecutive days of the week, the Happy Days theme is stuck in your head for hours on end
  71. you remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene
  72. you ever used the phrase "don't make me angry... ...you wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry" when trying to frighten someone off.
  73. you spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man
  74. you had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding
  75. you remember "Hey, let's be careful out there"
  76. you're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.
  77. you know who shot J.R.
  78. this rings a bell: "and my name is Charlie. They work for me."
  79. You thought 16K and dual 5 1/4" floppies was the Cadillac of computing.
  80. "The plane!...The plane" is familiar and you would have given anything to visit Mr. Rourk's island.
  81. "Nanoo Nanoo" makes sense to you.
 


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